i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
