please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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