I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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