so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
