dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Randomize