I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Randomize
