Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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