Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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