why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
