You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Randomize
