I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Randomize