It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
