Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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