the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
Is it because I queefed?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Randomize
