Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
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