I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
