Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
