worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
