so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
Randomize