I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
