found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Randomize