Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
Randomize
