Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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