Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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