I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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