party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
