one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
