no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
