TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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