He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
