and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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