My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
