they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
