Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
