It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
