The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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