There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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