My first STD was from a foam party
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize