life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
fuck your aforementioned shoe
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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