I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
