The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Randomize
