If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
