She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
