where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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