i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
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