Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
