A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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