Whod you bang
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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