So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
