walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize