I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
