I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
You don't make any sense
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