hell yes lets make some ravioli
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
He felt like a one man threesome
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
