Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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