chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Randomize