Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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