we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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