Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
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