So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
