Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Randomize
