my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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