They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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