I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
