Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
