I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
