Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
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