I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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